Tuesday, January 31, 2006
*.* Chinese New Year *.*
Family picture before setting off to my relatives' house on first day
My Aunt's place. I like this picture. Very well-taken.
This is the part where I am starting with the final moments of my visitation on day 2. My lovely niece, Christine drew a potrait of myself. So this is how she thinks I look like. At least, I have lovely eye lashes. The picture is now magneted on my fridge door.
Yu Sheng... I am not a huge fan of yu sheng but this was made by my aunt and it was so well done that I had 3 helpings!
Lovely Christine... the artist.
The Ho Family of females (well... most of it!)
Christine and myself! So cute right? She's such a darling! She is ever so willing to shower me with kisses!
Somehow, I find myself looking forward to CNY. Perhaps this is what they call the 'growing old' syndrome. You look forward to seeing your relatives even though you are not that close to them. Or perhaps I was looking forward to a loooong break.
Anyway, on the Eve, I was renovating my table. Yes, I gave my table a new set of clothes. I changed the plastic wrapper which had not been changed for almost 3 years. And I packed my table up.
And I had reunion dinner with my family. When dinner ended and my mum was clearing up, she started to cry. She missed my dad so much that she just broke down. She told me that she had contained her sorrow for the past 2 weeks and she couldn't control it anymore today. She just had to let go. I hugged her and sayanged her. And I let her cry alone. And she cried... continuously for the next 2 hours while doing her housework.
First day of CNY, mum was so tired that she only woke up at 12pm. She had that well-deserved rest. After which, we went to visit papa to bai nian. And when we were at the niche, all 3 of us (bro, sis and myself) asked one another... what do we wish our dad? Long life? Happiness? Abundance? But he's already dead. It was a long (though it was actually brief) moment as my sister held the two oranges and was figuring out what to say. My sister started first as we wanted to reverse the norm. So she just continued on by saying "Pa, Happy CNY...." And yes, the other 2 of us just wished my dad Happy CNY and we updated him about our lives. And when it came to my mum's turn, she cried. In between her sobs, she let out some things and she just couldnt do it anymore.
Sighs... I have also been missing my dad a lot. I'm so sure that if he's around now, life for him would be much better. He will be much happier and he would not be suffering like last time. It's like no matter how argh he was last time, nothing beats to having him here, sharing joyful times and good fortune as well. We just wished that he had enjoyed some things before he left.
Well, CNY proceeded on as usual. Watched 2 DVDs and caught up with my relatives. As I was looking at my relatives yesterday, it's so fast how time catches up on us. It seemed like yesterday when we were kids, running around and playing sparklers and hopscotch. Now, we are grown-ups, pursuing our aspirations and looking for the ideal one. As for the older generation, they have come to realize how fragile life is, that they could go any moment. It's best surmised by my eldest aunt who said "Come and visit me at least twice a year ah! Dun wait till CNY... only once a year!"
CNY holidays are coming to an end and work is starting all over again. But as we get into the hustle and bustle of life again, the significance of CNY still carries through. The meaning of reunion - forgiving when we're hurt by someone, accepting irregardless of status, contentment so that we may have it abundantly, good health as a form of good fortune, loving someone when he's not here will still carry through.
Lord, I pray for my family and relatives that they will be blessed with good health. May they find contentment in all they do so that they may find abundance and fulfilment in their lives. Lord, please bless and keep them. Amen!
A Child of God blogged @ | 10:19 pm
Saturday, January 28, 2006
*.* photocopying *.*
does anyone of u find photocopying notes a therapeutic process?
I was zapping my 3 textbooks today. So basically, I had to stand at the machine for 1 hour and brainlessly flip page, put the book on the photocopying glass and press the start button.
Throughout this routine process, I found myself thinking, dreaming and wishing. I was thinking about what went on during class today, about the moment of truth when I did well. I was also thinking which school will I be posted to for practicum.
I was wishing that photocopying could have been done much faster so that I could hurry up and go home after my meeting with prof.
I was also dreaming. It was about how much I liked studying and I dreamt that one day, when I was financially sufficient, I would go pursue a Masters.And I was wondering whether anyone in the queue would be cursing and swearing that I am taking a long time at the machine. I then turned around and stole a glance. Ha... there isn't any queue. Good. I can take my own sweet time. And I was also figuring out whether there was any other way to speed up the photocopying process. I couldnt make the machine align the paper in the landscape position, so I had to settle for potrait but photocopied on both sides. And I was wondering whether I would be able to complete some work over the CNY holidays. I dread the end of CNY hols cos this means that the next 2 weeks will fly past so fast. And ebfore I know it, I'm in the big big world of school feeling so so small.Driving... yes, it's next week! My goodness. I hope the instructor would be patient with me...Many many thoughts...The point that I'm trying to make here is that photocopying can be one time when you space out and think through stuff. It's that temporary moment when you are away from all distractions and you are alone with your book, machine and yourself. And during that moment, you will find yourself thinking through your deepest thoughts which you hardly have time to think of. That's the time when you realize the things you think of mean the greatest to you. And so, use that moment to think about how you are going to move forward. You can also transfer the photocopying therapy to anywhere else, bus/mrt rides, church, sitting down eating, etc... The point is, when you are so busy, take some time (anywhere) to pause, think and reflect on what made you most happy, sad, thankful, worried. At the end of it all, close the therapy, feeling contented and move on to your next chapter. Don't speed through life like a bullet train. Take time to savour and enjoy it.
A Child of God blogged @ | 1:41 am
*.* Social Context II *.*
I got back my grade for essay #2! And it's an A-! I'm kinda proud of that cos' I spent a lot of time on that essay.
So, without further ado, here's essay #2!
Question:
Tan (2003, p. 53) claims that “it is by no means the case that policy implementation and outcomes are unproblematic and uncontroversial.”
Choose any two of the Desired Outcomes of Education for the secondary school or junior college levels.
What problems and controversies do you see as schools attempt to attain these two Desired Outcomes?
The desired outcomes of education were articulated with the sole aim of providing our students with a holistic education. It is then opportune to examine the meaning of a holistic education before moving on to the problems and controversies in the implementation of these policies. Ron Miller has shared that ‘a person with a holistic education finds identity and a purpose in life, through connections to the community and spiritual values such as compassion and peace.’ Such a person would have developed ‘a passionate love for learning’.
One of the desired outcomes, which junior college students should possess, is to strive for excellence. In my opinion, the recent introduction of the Integrated Programme (IP) and Direct School Admissions (DSA) has further intensified the drive for academic excellence. Majority of our students are not blessed with natural abilities or talents. Hence, in order for them to clinch a place in any junior colleges offering the IP, this would require them to perform exceptionally well in the O levels. However, the competition to doing well does not stop here. The competition continues through their A Levels where they compete for places in renowned overseas universities or faculties in our local universities. Would not such competition misplace the meaning of holistic education, the joys of passionate learning? In our pragmatic society where we even employ the system of meritocracy in the public sector employment, students associate academic excellence with security for their future survival. This may result in students developing an individualistic and myopic outlook of life, where they equate success narrowly with academic excellence. While it is important for a junior college student to excel in one’s studies, a holistic education makes it imperative for him/her to strive for the non-academic excellence such as discovering one’s purpose in life through appreciation of one’s gifts and talents, as well as development of one’s character.
Understanding what it takes to lead Singapore is the other desired outcome of education for Junior College students. As future leaders of Singapore, it is necessary for students to have a deep-rooted sense of belonging to our state. However, planting deep roots into Singapore may be an increasingly difficult task, especially when globalization bodes more promising opportunities in other parts of the world. With the recent introduction of the IP, the top students are provided with immense opportunities to expand their intellectual minds. In the longer term, it is highly probable that these students may be nurtured to take on national leadership. Although it may seem presumptuous, it will be interesting to observe if these elite students would take advantage of the irresistible prospects outside of Singapore. As Minister Mentor Lee Kuan Yew has acknowledged that Confucian values are now obsolete, one cannot deny that pragmatism has already evolved into our society today. The worrying issue is, will pragmatism subsume the minds of our future leaders? Will their Singaporean roots be uprooted to other soils? Will they place greater value on individual survival compared to national survival? A holistic education should endow these elite students with the values of filial piety so that they will yin shui si yuan – remembering the source when drinking water. Understanding what it takes to lead Singapore requires these elites to contribute their talents to the greater growth of the less privileged counterparts and to Singapore, our homeland.
A Child of God blogged @ | 1:36 am
*.* Prelude to Social Context of Teaching II *.*
I had just written my 3rd essay in this module. Writing essays for this module is such a joy as I can freely express my opinions. Plus, it's easy to write a 500 word essay. It's difficult to keep to the 500 word limit, though.Writing essays as controversial as I can reminds me of my Political Science heydays when I enjoyed arguing and making it sound like I'm correct.I will not post my essay #2 and #3 yet. Cos I'm waiting for my grade for essay #2 to be released (tomolo) so that I can (hopefully) proudly announce that I have done well... *cross fingers*Anyways, for the first essay I had written, I scored an A-! Yipee! Got such a good surprise. I hope I can do well for the second essay. Spent a hell lot of brain cells thinking about it.Essay#3 is less challenging but it truly made me reflect how I have subconsciously introduced elements of inequality in my classroom.Okies dokies, it's FREEDAY! Yipee! Essay is written, all hell breaks loose. It's CNY!
A Child of God blogged @ | 1:50 am
Saturday, January 21, 2006
*.* Cheeky God *.*
I'm having a mysterious conversation with God. You can also say it's kinda cheeky.You see, for the past 3 weeks I have been praying for something. And everytime I go for mass, He would reveal something. Here's the sequence of revelation:Sunday mass on 1st Jan: God is always full of blessings. He's kind and gracious to me. This is because I am His child.Sunday mass on 8th Jan: Before mass, I prayed for a sign to guide me in my discernment. And guess what? The Gospel was about the magi following the sign, to Jesus. And when the magi followed the sign to Jesus, they saw light, saw glory. Likewise, if I follow Jesus, surely He will lead me to green pastures? Problem is, what is the sign? How do I see it? I ended mass by praying for sharp eyes, ears and heart.~ During the week that followed, there were signs that guided me in my decision making.~Sunday mass on 15th Jan: Before mass, I prayed that His words will dwell in my heart so that I will be more convinced of my decision. And what was the first reading? "Here I am Lord, Your servant is listening!" Responsorial psalm: Here I am Lord, I come to do Your will! Third Reading: The Body is for the Lord. And so, I realized that my body is for the pleasing service of the Lord. Therefore, we must always do His will, of loving one another. We must be ready to be His servants. ~Decision making is 70% way through. And during the week, there were incidents which confirmed that I made the right decision. ~Sunday mass on 22nd Jan: I will be going to pray for discernment that I made the right decision. I will pray for trust, patience and hope. It's really interesting how God is so cheeky to reveal bit by bit His plan for me. Masses have never been that interesting to me. But I am thankful that He's constantly reminding me to do the right thing even though I get distracted sometimes.Dear Brothers and Sisters, seek God! Seek Him with all your heart, mind and soul. He will reveal His ways if we listen to Him!
A Child of God blogged @ | 12:42 am
*.* A meeting planned by God *.*
After school, I went shopping for clothes at Holland Village today. After walking for 3 hours, my friend and I rested our tired feet at BK. It was there, that I saw my ex student. He's no longer studying in AJ cos' he failed his promos last year. As he was previously retained, the school could not retain him any further and so, he had to leave. Of course, he was devastated. I know all these because of incidences at my students' blogs.Anyway, at that time, when I learned that he didn't make it through, I was disappointed and felt sad for him. And so, I left an annonymous tag on his board, encouraging him to keep a positive outlook.And today, when I saw him, my heart was going out for him. I thought that if I were still his teacher last year, I would have probably done more. I would have pressured him to study hard for his promos, made a pact with him to pass his promos and provided him with the extra assistance. When he failed his promos, I would have encouraged him, urging him to think of options, encouraging him that not all is gone yet.So what did I do? I took a sheet of foolscap paper and wrote to him an encouraging note. I told him to make full use of this opportunity to study (he's studying at a pte school.) and never to give up on himself. I told him that I believe in him. I dunno how he reacted to the note but I hope he took it in the right way.I guessed God sent him to me. From this meeting today, I learned that no matter where we are, the duty of a teacher goes beyond the boundaries of a school. It doesn't really matter where we are, as long as we are our kids' inspirational force. Use our own personal talents for the greater good of our students.
A Child of God blogged @ | 12:22 am
*.* The Social Context of Teaching I *.*
I'm currently taking this course as mentioned above. This course aims to help new teachers to adopt a social perspective of issues related to teaching. Anyway, the reason why I'm posting this up is because I think it deserves to be posted since I spent so much effort on a 500 word essay. Just read it for extra GK yah...
In 2003, a local English-language newspaper, The Straits Times, carried a series of articles highlighting the phenomenon of insufficient interaction across racial boundaries in Singapore schools (please refer to Davie (2003) as an example). Discuss two major ways in which you as a teacher may try to deal with this phenomenon in your classroom teaching or through co-curricular activities.
In a school, the role as a teacher is instrumental in encouraging more inter-racial interaction. Teachers act as a catalyst to impress upon these young minds that even though they are of different races in a common space, they are of one identity – Singaporean. Hence, I would like to suggest two major activities a teacher could do to encourage more inter-racial interaction.
Firstly, the teacher should encourage inter-racial interaction by enhancing their knowledge about the ethnic festivals. At the start of the academic year, the teacher should create a common identity for the class so that everyone (of different races) will feel a sense of belonging to the class. The students will decide on the class identity but it must have an over-arching theme of “Acceptance”. This is to nurture a spirit of respect and acceptance towards diversity. The teacher should also split the class into different groups, ensuring that each group has at least one non-Chinese student. The rationale for doing so is to prevent any occurrence of the ‘birds of the feather’ phenomenon. With each ethnic festival approaching, the teacher will assign each group with different responsibilities to research upon, for example, the significance of Chinese New Year, practices and superstitions. Each group will then present their assigned tasks to the class. Through student participation, it is hoped that they will have a greater understanding of their counterparts’ beliefs, customs and practices, thereby creating more conversation topics across races. To further enhance interaction, the teacher should organize home visits during the festive season so that the students will understand how each race celebrates their festive seasons. This also allows parents to forge better relationships with parents of the other races. Through this activity, it is hoped that students will eliminate any stereotypes or stigma they may have of the other race. Once this is accomplished, the students will begin to accept one another, thus strengthening their common class identity, as well as being Singaporean.
Secondly, the teacher in-charge of a co-curricular activity should organize a camp for the students. The duration of the camp should be long enough for the students to establish stronger friendship bonds. The theme of the camp will be focusing on “Team-Building”. Likewise, the students will be divided in groups, each group comprising of at least one non-Chinese. At the start of each day, the students will recite the pledge, and the teacher has to explain that in this co-curricular society, we are pledging ourselves to be one united people, accepting and respecting of one another’s culture. This is crucial especially when co-curricular activities are instrumental in nurturing students’ character and moral development. Through the team-building activities, students have to go through mental and physical challenges, which require a high amount of sharing, giving, co-operation and communication from one another. In this way, they will learn how to help one another, despite of their racial differences. At the end of the camp, the students will affirm one another for the special qualities they have. This is to help them realize that even though they have different talents, each one of them is important to the success of their society. Hence, whenever the need arises, we should put up a united front, helping one another, strengthening our common identity of being Singaporean.
A Child of God blogged @ | 3:31 am
*.* week 3, here i come! *.*
week 2 had just passed. workload is piling up. i'm getting tired. i'm trying to get my momentum back to studies.nothing interesting has happened over the week except for my encounter with my maths tutor.i all along felt that she was biased towards me. Somehow, i feel that she has a relatively poorer impression of me. Remember the maths lesson plan I was moaning abt a few posts ago? Well, this week, I had to meet up with her to debrief abt my lesson plan.To my great relief, she wasn't that horrified as she was last time. She was more assuring and told me that it was a better job done this time round. Then I broke the barriers by telling her that I am not that confident of my maths and i'm getting demoralised.And she was apparently very surprised that i was getting demoralised. And her attitude changed... to a more helpful sort.in short, i guess my take out from that meeting was more positive. I am more motivated to try harder for my maths, got rid of my negative thots abt her and i wanna try hard for practicum. I wanna do better for maths!and i think she is not that bad after all. she can be quite demanding, quite pushy and quite... indifferent. but once we talk it out, i have understood her much better, that she is not wut i thought of her to be. she is always willing to help, if we bother to try and ask. in all, i thank God for giving me a renewed motivation to do maths and a fresh start to work on my relationship with my maths tutor. week 3, here i come! God grant me the strength to go through all these!
A Child of God blogged @ | 12:01 am
Wednesday, January 11, 2006
*.* Quoteworthy *.*
Was doing my readings (yes, I'm finally doing it!) on one module when I saw something quoteworthy:"But the people [teachers] who made most impact on me were the able men who wanted to give something. They really spent time in the lecture room; and afterwards in tutorials, with four or five students at a time, we discussed things. And he gave of himself. And at the end of a session, at the end of an evening, just before dinner, when tutorials finished, the man was literally exchausted. He then went for his glass of sherry to perk himself up just before dinner."MM Lee Kuan Yew, New Bearing in Our Education System, 1966Teachers who gave of themselves... I wonder how true it is, in today's society? Do the kids nowadays remember teachers the most positively by how much they gave of themselves to them (the students)?But LKY's quote struck a reminder in me again. Teachers play an instrumental role in imparting knowledge, apart from the academics. Off track, I like LKY's writing style. Perhaps I should pick up a book written by him soon.
A Child of God blogged @ | 12:15 am
Saturday, January 07, 2006
*.* first week at school & in 2006 *.*
Finally, first week of school has ended.And yes, got all my deadlines and it's going to be mad semester 2 for me. Semester 2 is basically 6 weeks. Now that 1 week is gone, there are 5 weeks left before I go for my practicum. And 5 weeks to complete my assignments. This semester can be summarized as the writing semester. I will be writing many essays and reflection. I reckon I will become a more contemplative person at the end of this semester.Anyways, I have a four day work week! That's pretty good considering that I used to have 2 days starting at 830am. Now, I only have one. Real thankful for that. Looks like praying helps and the mystic od God does wonders. I was praying for a good timetable, early days and if it is not even too much to ask, a free day. Alas, when the timetable came out, no free days and I have 2 days starting at 830am. But lo and behold, God works in funny ways. My maths tutor shifted the Tuesday morn class to Mon 1030 slot. So I have one free day. My grades last sem were not that bad. In fact, I did better than in NUS. Heh... I got an average of B+. That was pretty good considering that I had to balance RCIY and almost 8 times a week tuition. That's good. And of course, comparatively, my friends who had lesser commitments, did much better.So this semester, I'm gonna work my ass off. I wanna do better. But I'm not gonna let the grades thing take control of everything. I wanna do my bestest bestest best and give this last school sem my best shot. Perhaps I have my own regrets last time in school. But this time, would probably be my last time studying and I wanna do well. Do my best.Now that I don't have tuition, I'm free. And I like the kind of life I'm having. I'm still getting used to it, though. After school, have lunch. If no class after lunch, go Jurong Point. Do some window shopping and then head home. Reach home by 5pm, slack at home, take a little slumber. Watch TV and then do homework. Ha.... it's relaxing.2006 will be a year where I will treat myself much better. Don't get me wrong. It's not that I want to pamper myself but I realized that I have driven my body to so much work (church, tuition and work) that I haven't had my own personal time. I want to do this now, before I go into the hurlwind of WORK in school. I wanna treat myelf, my body and my health well. I wanna take care of my mental state and physical well being.I wanna treat my family much better. Make up for the lost time I had while giving tuition and church. I wanna establish closer relationships of communication with them. Before it is too late.I wanna spend more time with God. Reading more about Him. Last time, I will be so tired that I would sleep in the trains during my journeys to school. Now, I have more energy to spend more time with Him. Perhaps, if God wills, my next step might be fulfiled. First up, in February, I will take up my refresher course in driving. SEcond, to overcome my fear of piercing my earholes. Gotta go now. Getting ready for Novena and mass with my family.
A Child of God blogged @ | 12:51 pm
Thursday, January 05, 2006
*.* A new prayer I learned. *.*
Think of a subject that brings a distate to your mouth.Think of a subject that you immediately do not feel like studying.Think of a subject which brings you to the deepest levels of sinking hopes.I'm talking about Maths. It's really strange how my pet subject is no longer my pet subject. I can't explain how I have developed a phobia for Maths, teaching Maths. Perhaps having failed the entrance test once, made me realize I am not that mathematically competent after all. Perhaps I did not deliver my lessons well during our mock lessons. I guess, the setback was when I received my lesson plan assgt last Sem. All the hardwork I put in went down the drain. Apparently, it was a poor lesson plan and that caused my grades to dip. I didn't do well for Maths in the end.So, to kick off my flood of assgt, is my much welcomed Maths lesson plan. I last did it on the last day of 2005, looked at it again a few days ago but made no progress. I just kept on going in circles and couldn't decide on my lesson plan. I was hesistant. I was worried. I was fearful. I was not confident. these thoughts were going through my mind:Am I going to get marked down again?I think my teacher doesn't like me.I think my LP suck. Are my ideas viable?I think my friends are doing much better than I am.Will this LP help me or pull me down?So, the disaster came yesterday when I realized what are my deliverables. One lesson plan for 70 mins, resources, worksheet for class, teacher's solutions to the worksheet, homework and solutions to the homework.I freaked out. I though my teacher said in 2005, it is the lesson plan only. Throughout the day, I was wrenched in fear and anziety. I sure cannot make it this time round.how am I going to finish all this in 1 night? I dun wanna leave a bad impression on my teacher. Somehow, during my train journey home, I decided to read my book, "Rise, let us be on our way" by our late pope. I thought perhaps it could calm my anxieties, teach me what to do. I knew I needed to get over my phobia. Once I get over it, I can decide on my lesson plan. Thank Gof for leading me to the book. Because in one chapter, the pope recounted how he used to entrust his worst anxieties to the intercession of the Holy Family. St Joseph, Mary and Jesus. 3 powerful intercessors. 3 hearts but beating as one. Can you imagine how powerful thier intercession will be? I have prayed to St Joe and Mary and Jesus, but never as one. I always pray to them separately. And so, praying to the Holy Family is something different.So at the bus stop, I prayed to the Holy Family. I prayed that I will come up with a good lesson plan that won't cause my grade to dip. I prayed that I will be peaceful and confident of my work. I prayed that I can concretizze my LP. And surprisingly, all was well. I could sit down and actually do my LP. All the previously fuzzy ideas somehow seemed clearer. And I was more confident of my LP.Even though it was getting late and I have not done much, I was not at all in a panic. I did it in my own pace and drowned myself in holy music to get me going. It was a peaceful attempt.And at 4am, I wrapped up my work, took a 3 hr sleep before going to school. Even making some last amendments was so light-hearted. At least now, I dun think I presented a bad lesson plan. I did with my best effort and I tried. I did not cave in to my phobia. It was also a good reminder to me not to be so narrow minded. I shouldn't let my previous setbacks deter me from keeping up the hope and faith. Things might change, I will never know it. I should just try. I need to keep a broader perspective. It's not about the grades. It's about God. It's about doing the work assigned to me with all my dedication and good effort so that it will be presentable to God. Good lesson learned to kick off my tsunami of assignments coming in. Thanks be to God.
A Child of God blogged @ | 10:31 pm
*.* An Old Collection *.*
Unexpectedly, I saw this old mail in my drafts @ Yahoo mail. It was saved on Wed, 30th March 2005. I must have been typing this and had to stop halfway because of school lessons/meetings, etc. Anyway, this was a good reminder about what happened in the past year. Reading back, I never knew how painful that incident was to me. It was indeed, heart-wrenching.Anyway, here goes:This must be the most spiritual draining and elightening Holy Week I ever had.Somehow, during this Holy Week, I decided to double up my "following Jesus" by going for daily mass and abstaining from meat the entire week. So in other words, I almost had vegetarian food the entire week which became quite sian later in the week. There was once I was too tired and didn't want to go for mass but I still dragged myself to church. Glad that I didn't miss mass cos it was a spiritually enlightening one. (Read the entry about drinking from His cup)The hi-light from Holy Week was an incident that stab me right in the heart and made my whole Wednesday crumble. It was so bad that I couldn't stop crying and the words kept on running through my head. The email was so strong and direct that it pierced me through and through. It had such a great impact that I almost missed some meetings and was really sad and downcast. I mean, my eyes would tear at every reminder of that horrid email.People have said that they would be so devastated that they would jump off the building if they ever received an email like this. Lucky them that they have not received such an email before.And so, I went for mass again even though I didn't feel like it but felt like keeping up to this resolution. From the mass, the "Our Father" was very meaningful especially when we ask Him to " give us our daily bread" and to "forgive us our sins as we forgive those who sin against us". It's like asking God for strength (bread) to forgive those who hurt you cos we have also hurt others as well. So then, I prayed for the person who hurt me a big big deal.Holy Thursday:Holy Thursday was a nerve-wrecking day. I wanted so desperately to go for mass as early as possible. But I couldn't. I had to wait for the admin stuff to come in so that I could help to type the students into their respective classes. But my partner was such a SLOW typist and a SLOW searcher (we had to search for their names) that we finished like... 1 hour later than the other pair who finished earlier. I was like so peeeeved! And of course, I hinted by saying that "if your eyes are tired, I dun mind helping you" (Read: You are too slow, let me take on your role.)After that typing, it was like 530pm. But I still have a CCA meeting to "show face". So before I went for the meeting, I packed my bag, went to toilet and showed up for the CCA meeting. Thank God that my partnering teachers are Christian so when I told them at 6pm that I have to go for mass, they hurried me to go and so off I went!I hailed a cab and rushed down to CTK where there weren't much seats left so I had to settle for any seat.The washing of the Feet... I got very amazed at how clean Fr Peter Koh wiped his disciples' feet. He made sure their feet were thoroughly clean... you can just see how much effort he is using to wash their feet.The enactment of washing the disciples' feet is a crucial component of humility, discipleship and Christian love. Jesus went down so low, not only to wash his disciples' feet but He went further lower by washing the feet of Judas, His traitor and MUCH MUCH lower by suffering the humiliation of all the scourging, spats to die for us. Discipleship... Though He was the leader, He willingly took on the role as a Servant.After mass, I went to Risen Christ Church with my mum, godma and sis. I spent some quiet time there and then went back to CTK for some deeper quiet time. Somehow, I prefer the atmosphere at CTK. Risen Christ was brightly lit and they didn't have that atmosphere for spending an hour of prayer with Jesus.I stayed until 12 where Fr Yim came sharply at 12 midnight to bring Jesus away. Since it is Good Friday, there is "no more Jesus" as He is undergoing His passion now. Somehow, when Fr Yim brought Jesus away, I felt a certain kind of pain, as if I am forcefully pulled away from my father. It reminded me of how I wanted my dad to come back to me but he had to "go on with his journey". I was very sad on that day. Sad to see Jesus surrendering himself to the mercy of his persecuters. I felt also sad because I could identify with his pain as well. I had not gotten over that email yet.Good Friday:I slept late on Good Friday as I made some decisions during my prayer at CTK. By the time I made up my mind and took action, it was already 4 plus. I woke up at 11 plus and made my way to Risen Christ for Stations and Good Friday Service. I have never visited Risen Christ for the longest time ever and I got to say that the choir is very much better than CTK. The stations of the cross was one of the most meaningful stations I ever attended. What struck me was this, that Jesus at the Garden was pleading with God to take the cup away from him. But when his persecuters finally came, Jesus said "I will drink the cup". I do not know how exactly Jesus felt at that time but putting myself in his shoes, it was not easy for Jesus to drink from the cup and even when He said so, it was not easy to give his consent. He could be feeling fearful, not knowing wut to expect next but one thing is for sure, He trusted God when He said He will drink from the cup.The other thing from the stations of the cross that struck me was the scene when Jesus was hung on the cross. Mary kissed the feet of Jesus. That kiss planted on His bloody feet. When Mary planted that kiss on his feet, she was surrender whatever that is, that will to come to God. Her self-surrender was filled with so much trust in God that He will provide for her. And she did all that because she loved Jesus. How can we possibly be like Mary? Can we self-surrender, love and trust Jesus in our own difficulties and downs?
And so when we had the veneration of the cross, my kiss to Jesus was for once, meaningful. I asked Jesus for the grace to give him a kiss filled with self-surrender, love and trust.
A Child of God blogged @ | 11:23 am
Family picture before setting off to my relatives' house on first day
My Aunt's place. I like this picture. Very well-taken.
This is the part where I am starting with the final moments of my visitation on day 2. My lovely niece, Christine drew a potrait of myself. So this is how she thinks I look like. At least, I have lovely eye lashes. The picture is now magneted on my fridge door.
Yu Sheng... I am not a huge fan of yu sheng but this was made by my aunt and it was so well done that I had 3 helpings!
Lovely Christine... the artist.
The Ho Family of females (well... most of it!)
Christine and myself! So cute right? She's such a darling! She is ever so willing to shower me with kisses!