Monday, September 20, 2004
*.* The Good Shepherd *.*
Today is finally THE DAY.
I didn't have a good sleep at all cos I was blessed with a painful throat and a perpetually running nose. I regretted not taking my cold medicine last night. There was no medicine for my throat.
Anyway, I woke up and tossed around the bed until 930am. I had to prepare for my tuition with Jorlyn. Went for lunch, shopped for medicine and lozenges. Came back at 2pm. Popped myself with all sorts of medicine, in a desperate bid to ease my sore throat and cold.
Was thinking of whether to take bus or cab. If take bus, means cannot nap, must make-up and dress up... approx 2hours.
I need to nap. I need time to dress up. I do not want to arrive at MOE hot, sweaty, etc. I decided to take cab.
When I woke up from my very short nap (I cldn't sleep much), I was overly anxious. I was so anxious that this anxiety swept over me like a tidal wave. I couldn't think straight. I think I was hyper-ventilating at that time. That was when I desperately smsed all my friends to pray for me. I just felt I could die if my anxiety was not controlled.
So then I decided to stand infront of my altar and pray.
I stretched my hands out and surrended myself to God in silence. I gave Him all my anxieties, my fears... EVERYTHING. I just stood there in silence and gave myself to God. I focused onto God and saw an image of the Good Shepherd. The Good Shepherd was hugging a lamb.
And then I prayed... I prayed that I will no longer be anxious. That I will no longer be a kan cheong spider. That I will have peace and serenity. That during the interview, my sore throat and cold will not be any hinderance. I prayed and surrendered everything to God. And I also prayed that I wld do my make-up correctly. (I suck at doing my make-up well)
And then I started preparing. Ironed my blouse. Bathed TWICE. Put on make-up... hahaha.. so funny... I ran out of foundation of all times! Looks like I better not depend on my mum for foundation... I will definitely get my own foundation next time. And then I found a similar tube to that of the foundation. So I used it. When I came home later in the evening, my mum told me that was not foundation. That was a base! Hahahah.. dun ask me the difference.. I dunno...
Anyway, I hopped onto the cab at 410pm. Was thinking through the answers to the expected questions. Couldn't think very much cos I was worrying about drinking water and my lipstick disappearing. So I was like.. drinking water to soothe my sore throat and then re-applying my newly bought lipstick... Pathetic right?
And then I reached MOE at around 440pm. Submitted all the documents and just sat there, stoning. Again my anxiety level was increasing again... I had to control it. So I prayed to the Holy Spirit to calm me down and grant me wisdom in my words. I held on very closely to the image of the Good Shepherd. And I remembered the line I read from my spiritual book yesterday which was... Be silent and endure. Yes, endure my sore throat and cold. And don't mumble mumble all my anxieties. I will be silent and surrender.
The Good Shepherd will go before me before I answer any questions. The Good Shepherd will carry my cross before I carry mine. The Good Shepherd will send His angels and saints to go before me, during the interview...
The interview turned out really great. For that brief moment, my nose was not running. My throat was not sore. It was exactly so normal as I answered their questions. The following were their questions in the following order:
1) Tell me about your present job.
2) Why are you leaving this job?
3) Let's just say your entire class failed an Economics test. What would you do to motivate them?
4) How would you explain Gross National Product to your class?
5)If you were given the opportunity to teach in RJC, how would you feel and what would you do on your first day?
6) How would you teach this RJC class?
7) Would you prefer to teach in a JC or Sec school?
I felt that the last question was a positive sign... cos I was given a choice of level to teach. And when I am given a choice, it means... I am accepted?
I dunno lah but I hope and pray so!
I felt very peaceful when I left the interview room. The moment I got out, I sneezed 3 times! And my sore throat and cold came back all over again....
So how am I feeling now?
Very hopeful. Very blessed. I know there were many people praying for me today. These people joined in the army of angels and saints to pray for me. Thank you very much, dear prayer angels! Your prayers meant a lot to me cos it took away my anxiety, gave me confidence and wisdom to answer well. Your prayers uplifted me and gave me so much support. Thank you dear prayer angels, for praying for me.
Dear Lord, I am at peace right now. I thank You for blessing me with a good interview. I do not know what is going on in the interviewers' minds but I pray it will be something good. Whatever it is, I pray for a good outcome of the interview (hopefully, JC Economics??). I pray for patience, hope and faith in Your divine will for me. Lord, I surrender my life to You. Let it be done according to Your will. And Lord, shower your blessings on the prayer angels who prayed for me ! Thank You for sending these angels to me.
Mother Mary, Queen of angels and saints, thank you for praying for me. Thank you for praying for me with the whole army of angels and saints. Thank you dear Mother. And I pray that you will continue to help me to trust in God's divine plan for me.
And papa, I know you are watching me from Heaven. Thank you papa for praying for me and for being there with me. Amen!
A Child of God blogged @ | 11:50 pm
