Birthday: 14th October Occupation: Cultivator; Moulder; Nurturer Currently I am inspired: To renovate my blog
To start on my next phase of new life in 2007
I was thinking of not writing an entry today cos I have been too on about writing blogs already. Getting a bit too tired.. a bit burnt out of writing blogs...
But was just talking to Alycia on MSN.. so was thinking.. wut the heck, just type a short one today.
I got to confess... I am a bit scared of what coming up on Monday. I have the MOE interview going on and I am scared that I will screw that up. If I screw that up, I don't think I will apply to MOE again.. and will be stuck in the present job I am in.. It's like being Cinderella all over again... I am just waiting for my Prince Charming to take me out. Basically working at idealog has become like a dark pit. Everyone is telling me to get out but I am waiting for my Prince Charming to get me out.
So.. I am just fearful because it is a make it or break it situation. Worse still.. though I am feeling fearful, I am excited. It's like waiting in hope on tenterhooks.. that kind of feeling...
But ultimately, there's sinking feeling lah...
I was reading a bible passage as today is the Feast of Our Lady of Sorrows.
The Gospel was about Mother Mary standing at the foot of the cross, looking at Jesus. At the cross, Jesus said to Mary,"Woman this is your son" and to his beloved disciple "This is your mother."
Basically what touched me about this reading was that Mother Mary was also looking up to the cross where Jesus was. It is somewhat similar when I was at Blessed Sacrament, looking at Jesus on the cross. At that point, I could feel that Mother Mary is intimately connected with me cos she is initmately connected with her son, Jesus. Whatever I pray to Jesus, she will know and she will always be praying for me even though I am not talking to her.
Immediately, I felt consoled that she knew the paradox of feelings I am going through. In fact, earlier today, I was reading an article about Fear. It is basically about how one can gets afraid and does nt have that peace of mind. You can read the article here. http://www.theblessedsacrament.com/articles/fear.html
And after reading all these, I am challenged to be brave, be confident in the Lord and trust in Him. I will try not to be afraid anymore.. I will be brave and be like St Joan of Ark.. wearing the armour of God and fight in this battle!
Lord Jesus, send down Your angels in this battle. In You I trust, I hope and I pray! Amen.
