Friday, September 24, 2004
*.* Getting REALLY tired and REALLY sick *.*
My Friday was well until something happened between my friend and I.
I guess I am getting a little bit tired of all these. Can say... if all these things do not stop, I am also getting sick of it.
It spoils the meaning of doing all these. It sucks greatly. And why am I letting all these people get me down?
Of course, half of my mind was "fine.. you wanna do it in that way. DO IT. I dun give any peanuts." The other half of my mind was "Why is it happening like that? What's wrong with this friend of mine? I do not know what's going on in that friend of mine. I can only pray for that friend."
I'm getting really really tired. So much that I want to give up EVEN BEFORE I'VE ACTUALLY STARTED.
Was just wondering, why can't I be a bitch for once and tell people off?
People tell me I'm a bao kar liao person. I think I am. I wanna let go of things. I cannot be hurt, disappointed and sad time and again. I cannot find any more rabbit holes (or refuge) to run to. I am getting tired. I am getting sick of all these.
I am just waiting for THE DAY I blow up. If I ever do that, that day will be "the end of the world".
In my bath just now, I was again reminded (think by the grace of God), not to let myself be entangled in all these situations. Life HAS to be simple and not complicated. The simplicity lies in the focus... GOD. I have to be focused onto Him. I have to let go of things that I cannot take care, for now. I will have to let go and let God take care of the things I cannot take care. After all, all that I have, all that I am, I am just a steward, God's servant on Earth.
Really... God will pull me through all these. I am going to do all that I can to make this thing work. I'm sure He will grant me the strength, wisdom, faith and hope to make this happen.
God, please bless that friend of mine. I pray that my friend will see You waiting for him/her, again. Amen.
A Child of God blogged @ | 10:23 pm
