*.* My soul is weeping *.*
I feel so helpless. I feel so useless.Yesterday morning, while I was in school, I heard the news that our Pope was given the last rites - the Sacrament of Anointing. This Sacrament is not only for physical and spiritual healing, it has now been commonly referred to the last rites before death. So perhaps I was in denial, I felt that the news blew up things that our Pope is going to die. After all, I can also receive the Sacrament of Anointing when I am sick but not going to die. So if the Pope receives this sacrament, it doesn't necessary mean that he's going to die.But yes, He is going to die. As the day goes on till evening, I learnt that he suffered a heart attack. By night, his condition is worsening. By Sat morning at 2 am plus, his breathing has became shallow. And this morning when I woke up at 12 plus, his blood pressure is going lower and lower.And here I am in Singapore, typing my blog now, thinking of what to do for my last minute-informed lecture on Monday and just being helpless.Even though it's Easter, I think it's still Lent. Somehow, being so helpless makes me feel like I am one of Jesus' disciples, sleeping. Well, if it's any consolation at all, I am "watching" (Not in the TV sense but awaiting... perhaps for some miracle to happen).I have never met this Pope before. One reason why I was dying to go to World Youth Day is to meet the Pope. But from the news articles I have read, from the letters He has written to his beloved flock all over the world, He has indeed been a faithful servant. I am not the knowledgeable sort but I do know that he stuck by the principles, did not bow down to pressure.For example, I saw on CNN that women around the world has been lamenting that women should be allowed to become priests and serve on the altar and that the Pope should legislate this. It is by tradition that the Catholic doctrine has always been like that. And the Catholic doctrine is based on the ONE TRUE CHURCH that comes from God. And so, if man wants it in this way, it's man who breaks the church apart. I know this is a weak argument but my stand is this, because I choose this religion, I love God and I love the people serving God, especially our Pope.Another example... CNN says that some Catholics have left the church because Our Catholic church does not allow contraception. Don't they realize that by using contraception, we are artificially controlling life? Aren't we taught in our Faith that only God controls life? Why are we placing life in our own hands? As God's people, we have to bear fruit and multiply. If you can't afford to bear fruits, then don't have sex. Hard to abstain from sex? That's when the issue of loving God and having Faith in Him comes in. It's hard to control and overcome our desires but if we truly love God, we will learn to surrender all our desires on Him and ask Him to help us overcome them. What God unites, man must not divide. It's as simple as that. And I am just wondering why CNN is so screwed up to publicise this kind of nonsense when our Pope is nearing His death. It's so... absurd. It's like... are they lamenting His death or laughing at one's demise? I wish I am in Rome now. If I am in Rome, I will be one of those ten thousands people, keeping vigil and praying for our Pope. I still don't know why I have this attachment to Him.But if you look closely at how he prays, at how he struggles to give his blessing on Easter day even though he is really weak, at how he has emphasized several important aspects of our Faith for example, the Year of the Eucharist, at how he emphasized the role of Mary in our lives, at how he canonized so many saints in his pontificate, we know that He has so untirelessly served God.He has been a struggling servant. Can you imagine the world going against Him? Can you imagine the Pope praying so hard for every war, violence, disaster that comes along? Can you imagine Him doing what God wills against the will of his people? How much courage does He have to do what God wills and not what man wills? How much strength does He get from not complying with what the people want (which is not what God would want)?He's definitely a man with an intense and intimate relationship with God. Only a man who has listened and integrated God's word into his life can bravely do God's work without flinching from people's Godless demands. Only a man who loves God seeks Him as his stronghold and refuge.When I look at the Pope, I am looking at a Living Saint...a Living God.I dunno how I will react at His Death. But here in Singapore, I can only so uselessly, helplessly pray for a peaceful death.Dear God, sustain our dear Pope during this time. Cast away all his fears, his worries. Help him to cling onto You, our Good shepherd. Lord, shepherd him into your light, into your Heavenly Kingdom. And may our dear Pope gain strength and peace from You.Mother Mary, just as you held your beloved son, Jesus into your arms. May you hold your beloved son, our earthly shepherd, Pope John Paul II, into your arms. Console him in his pain, relieve him of any sufferings and grant him peace and love in this time. Pray for him, dearest Mother.All saints and angels (and Papa) in Heaven, pray for our Pope and lead Him into Your Heavenly Kingdom.Amen.
A Child of God blogged @ | 3:00 pm
