Friday, November 05, 2004
*.* I Want to be s Saint *.*
I want to be a Saint.
I do not know if I can be a Saint but I want to be a Saint.
The first one or two years of my Baptism, I had a strong desire to become a priest because I have an ardent adoration for the Eucharist. But unfortunately, I cannot become one cos’ I am a girl. :( I remembered talking to a priest and sharing about my desire to become a priest. And the priest – Father Roderick just smiled at me. Looking back, I was indeed innocent and naïve and I’m sure Father Roderick was really laughing at me. Father Roderick has since then gone to be with the Lord but no matter what, he is always intimately connected with me.
Since then, my desire to become a priest has since watered down cos’ I can’t be a priest at all! But my adoration for the Blessed Eucharist has since grown. That’s why Sunday mass is so important to me.
After that priest thing, I wanted to become a saint. But this wanting faded off and it’s only on All Saints Day that my desire to become a saint became stronger.
As I look back in my life, God has planted many trials for my family to go through. The greatest trial as of now, is to get over my dad’s death and to live a new life together as a foursome. All the trials were all difficult. They had thrown my family into heated arguments, trashing out... Out of the stable boat which we once rode on.
But without these trials, I would not have grown all the more attached to the Lord. It’s like... Going through an abyss for a long time and coming out victorious. Except that I don’t get a tangible reward or trophy. What I have gotten, I believe, is a place for me, nearer to the Kingdom of God. If there’s anything else, it would be a greater faith and understanding of God’s way and of course, a closer family bounded in love, peace and understanding.
And so, when John asked the elder, “Who are those in white robes?”, the elder replied,“These are the ones who have survived the time of great distress; they have washed their robes and made them white in the Blood of the Lamb.”
I felt directly connected to that statement. Everytime I come out of a difficult situation or one when I was struggling to stay with God, I feel that I have washed my robes clean and made them white again with God.
That’s what being a saint is all about... Staying close to God, no matter what it takes, no matter how the situation is.
And as what Father Peter Koh had said during mass that struck me a great deal... A Saint also involves LOVE and SACRIFICE. These are two demanding tasks which I cannot fulfil. If I were to say I can easily love and sacrifice, I would be jumping the gun.
But it further drilled into me about what I have been doing so far in the RCIY ministry and in my work:
Am I doing things out of love?
Or am I doing it just because I have to?
Am I thinking about myself only? Do I think about the needs of others?
Have I loved the least of all?
Have I given up somethings for others, so that they can also share the good of what I have?
It would take me a lot to love and to sacrifice. But I am not alone. God is with me. Mother Mary is praying for me. And the Saints and Angels are up there in Heaven, praying for me and with me. And yes... My dad too... He’s always watching over me and praying for me.
Hopefully, one day, I will be in Heaven, enjoying eternal life with God and relishing His glory with my dad, angels, saints and Mother Mary.
“All the angels stood around the throne and around the elders and the four living creatures. They prostrated themselves before the throne, worshiped God, and exclaimed: “Amen. Blessing and glory, wisdom and thanksgiving, honor, power, and might be to our God forever and ever. Amen.”
Revelation 7:9-14
A Child of God blogged @ | 1:10 am
