Child Of God

*.* Child of God *.*

Birthday: 14th October
Occupation: Cultivator; Moulder; Nurturer
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To start on my next phase of new life in 2007


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Created by Charisma
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Saturday, June 25, 2005

*.* IT IS THE LORD !!! *.*

I met up with evelyn @ Happy Daze today, with the rest of the other befrienders. We met up to discuss something and then we shared our thoughts and feelings about RCIY.

Somehow, as we were discussing about Confirmation Camp, the more we talked about it, the more I suddenly felt a stirring in my heart. My heart was burning with desire to see the Lord, to run to Him and talk to Him, to just get much closer to Him. I just had to see Him. It's like a girlfriend who simply can't wait to see her boyfriend.

And so after we dispersed and went on our separate ways, I took a cab down to the Perpetual Adoration Room at SFX Minor Seminary. It's the only adoration room open in Singapore, for 24 hours. There were many people praying.

And I just knelt there, looking at Jesus in the Blessed Sacrament. And the only words that were in my mind were "It is the Lord!" (John 21:7) I was looking at the Blessed Sacrament, just adoring Him in the beautiful adoration room. Jeri, dunno if you have been there, but it is just BEAU-TEE-A-FUL!!!

And so I gazed and gazed... in loving adoration and in awe. I just wonder why. It's like you are so happy to see Jesus!

And one shocking thing that I asked myself... why is it that I am so happy to see Jesus at 12 something in the morning? People should be sleeping. Why are you just so happy to see Jesus when you should be sleeping? And a scary thought came to me... Is this a calling to become a nun?

But that's beside the WHOLE point. I kept on praying and praying continuously for about 30 mins. This is the first time in the longest ever that I have been continuously praying, joyfully, happily and just continuously. I just talked and talked to God, shared with Him my ideas, my hopes, my dreams, my difficulties, my prayers....

I prayed real hard for my Maths test. I haven't studied concretely yet and I am dead meat. I gotta mug very hard. I have been very stressed over the Maths test and I just rested this Maths test in His hands. I put it in His hands and I prayed for divine wisdom and understanding to understand what I am doing.

I talked to Him about Confirmation. About what I want to do...about how much I wanted to try again...

(This portion is cut cos' I want to keep my readers in suspense. I just want to see how our Beautiful Lord will unroll His Beautiful Plans for us.)


I just dunno why but I got a sudden burst of energy to do more. It's really not so much about the physical notion of MORE things but rather, I want to do MORE spiritual stuff.

And of course, the usual me, knowing that it can't always be ME, ME, ME, offered up these ideas up to God. I asked Him, "Dear Lord, there must be a reason why after discussing Confirmation stuff with evelyn, I have a huge stirring in my heart. And I just flew here to talk to You. Lord, I am very inspired to do more, especially with these ideas that I am inspired to do. But Lord, if this is not what you will, guide me and my team to do Your will. Guide us, that in what we say, do, think and feel, may it be by your holy will."

And then, I felt so free. I finally knew what to confess! I realized I have been such a cynic, such a gossiper, such a judgemental person. I am a prideful person. (I am not proud but I have pride...) I have looked down on my own abilities and not thought myself as a wonderful creation of God. I have not given my best shot in the RCIY ministry. I have felt I was the worst shit ever. I failed to love my fellow friends completely. Suddenly, I knew what to confess finally. For the longest time ever, I was thinking and praying very hard what to confess. And finally, I knew what to confess. It is like... A LOT of sins lah... I can't wait to go for Confession!

And then I went on to pray for all the facils and for all the neophytes. I just kept on praying and praying... and all those words just came out... I just feel so much joy praying.

And I prayed for my dearest family. Prayed for each one of them. Even though my prayers for them are the same, yet they sound so different. Perhaps this prayer is said with feelings, with joy...

And I prayed for myself... that I will pass my Maths test. And I prayed for myself, that I will have the strength, God's grace to finish this last lap of Confirmation. To do my best and to inspire my team to grow. And for divine wisdom in doing this Confirmation good.

Basically, I can't do this without You. Confirmation can't do this without You. My facils can't do this without You. My neophytes can't do this without You. My family can't so this without You.

Dear Lord, shower down your graces upon each one of us. May your grace refresh our tired and thirsty souls. May you guide us in our thoughts, words, actions and feelings, that in all that we do, may we grow spiritually closer to You. May we grow together in love and in faith.

"IT IS (DEFINITELY) THE LORD!!!"

Then they said to each other, “Did not our hearts burn within us as he talked to us on the road and explained the scriptures to us?"
Luke 24:32

A Child of God blogged @ | 2:08 am