Before I go on, I just thought I should share with you some pictures on how I conduct my Econs class in NYJC. Hah... when in a million chance do you take photos of yourself while teaching? All these pictures are taken by my Co-operating teacher while she was observing me. Thanks to Ms Lim!

Role-play by another group

That's O608 for you! They are a bunch of very genuine kids who are very sweet and appreciative. Last Friday, I had my best lesson in NYJC. Everything went so well. They did excellent role-plays and somehow my lesson and teaching flowed very well. For the first time, I felt that my kids got the points that I was trying to bring across. And I could see that they were enjoying themselves tremendously. For once, I felt as if I had succeeded in inspiring my students to love Economics.

Teaching Economics is getting harder. I just feel it is more challenging in terms of content. No matter how much I read up, somehow, I still feel that the content is lacking. One of the things my supervisor point out was that I still needed to master my content. True, true, very true.

Talking about my supervisor's observation... I had the most stressful observation ever because of a whole series of events leading to that fateful day. I had 2 previous lessons preparing my class for the role-play. In other words, if my class was unable to come up with the role-play by the 2nd lesson, they would not be able to present on the 3rd lesson for my observation! So that added a lot of stress on me.

As mentioned in the previous post, I had done well for my 1st observation and so I felt that I needed to meet my supervisor's expectations. That added stress too. But the ultimate came when my supervisor observed my friend and unfortunately, her observation did not go very well. Upon knowing how very high her expectations were, I got very worried. I got scared. A whole lot of emotions were pent up in me and I was almost at the verge of screaming.

On the final day, I did what I could. During the whole morning, I was jumping up and down all over the staffroom, trying to get over my anxiety but I couldn't. I was very nervous and I tried to get over my anxiety.

When it was time for that fateful hour, I just did my best and lifted up to God. Unfortunately, I felt I could have done much better. I was not in my top form and I knew that I caved in a little to my anxiety. My class did their best and I was appreciative of their efforts. They had indeed tried very hard. When the lesson ended, my supervisor and Ct left the room. While I was cleaning up the classroom, my 2 other colelagues came into the room. I could only exclaim outloud,"I think it was a very bad lesson! She's going to mark me down!"

But I had to drag my feet to meet up with my supervisor and CT for the post-observation conference.

My supervisor commented that I was still lacking in content knowledge but she couldn't comment much because the lesson was rather superficial. In other words, it lacks depth. So that's something I could improve on.

But she said, that it was a very good class and the students were very engaged in learning. I delivered my lesson well and managed my class very well. I could hold their attention and keep them under control. I had a very encouraging and positive attitude.

And the best statement she made which made me fly up to Heaven --> " It has been a pleasure assessing you." When she said that, I melted. I knew how high her standards were. I knew how nitty gritty she could get. And if she could actually say that, it must definitely mean something cos according to my CT, it is very rare for her to compliment someone. She even told my CT to keep me in NYJC and NYJC needs teachers like me. For that moment, I felt that all the stress, anxiety and worry I have been going through is all worth it. It motivated me to do much better and work much harder. It has made me feel that I am a competent beginning teacher.

I'm very thankful. Honestly, the lesson observation I had wasn't the best I could deliver. I could do more and much better. But my supervisor still felt it was good. All these wouldn't have been possible without God's intervention. I have been praying everyday that "God will help my supervisor and CT see the good in me and be blind to my weaknesses." How true it is!

Things are getting much better now. Of course, I have learnt to become more independent. But I am thankful for a pool of colleagues who gave me comfort and encouragement. I am thankful for my CT who has always supported me in my ideas. I am thankful for being in such an environment where I feel so comfortable to even cry after the observation. I cried because I felt I needed to release the pent-up emotions that I had been keeping for the past week. I'm thankful because my students are being so appreciative of my teaching and they enjoy learning Economics.

I will continue to do my best. My last supervisor's observation is in 2 weeks' time. I'm in the midst of planning my next observation but I do not have any solid idea yet. I'm praying for God's wisdom in deciding how I should conduct it. But one thing is for sure, my engine is raring to go again. All these would not have been possible without God.

Thank You Lord, Mother Mary, all angels and saints for praying for me! Thank you dear friends, for praying for me. All these would not have been possible without your intercessons!